"Speak true in the presence of power:" Reflections from #CCM15

In mid- June this year, I attended the Conference on College Men at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Having been a student at this institution for the past five years, I was honored to see the place I call home have the privilege to host such an amazing event.

But I’ll be honest, when I walked into the conference I didn’t know what to expect. What I ended-up walking away with were new insights and questions that challenge me to reflect on what is possible.

I played a small role in the conference as one of five speakers who was asked to give a “MED talk” similar to a TED talk at my university last year (which can been seen here). However I had a lot more anxiety in putting together my MED talk than there was in my TED talk.

My biggest takeaway from this conference came after I attended the keynote that Prof. Terrell Strayhorn gave on the second day to a packed room. I don’t believe I can do any justice in expressing how much his presentation not only spoke to me, but changed my life.

I thought to myself, “I have to challenge myself to do more after seeing what was possible in the power of storytelling.” I made sure to talk to him after his keynote and attempted to take a not-so-awkward selfie with him. I not only got the photo with him, but also a hug.

After sharing that I was going to give my own presentation the next day he coached me through the process of finalizing my changes, changes which ultimately kept me up past midnight.

I was exhausted. It was 2:00 a.m. and in just eight hours I was expected to give my presentation. I ended up not sleeping that night; I was just too excited and full of energy.

The title of my talk was, “Poor, Brown, and Asian-American: A Life Full of Contradictions.” Much of my thought process in preparing the presentation involved viewing things through multiple perspectives. Throughout my talk I recalled many themes I overheard at the conference that expressed frustrations with the education gap and the ways in which hegemonic masculinity hinder men from graduating college and engaging in a healthy lifestyle.

If you are not a heterosexual, middle-class, white male, the education gap becomes present in the rates at which people graduate with a degree. With that being said, I couldn’t help but ask myself, “Where are all of the college men?” Throughout the conference I began to recognize that this space was populated by professionals in higher education, but not students.

College men are often labeled as the problem that needs to be solved. I, on the other hand, believe that the solution lies within the “problem.” While I wished more men currently in college had attended, I encourage those that I met who were involved in administration, residential housing life, and other faculty positions from universities who traveled from all parts of the country to take what they learned back and involve their students in creating a solution. Administrators, please share what most workshops presented: programs designed to prevent cultural issues versus treating cases that could have been prevented.

I was glad to see that programs were being created that hold this same perspective. One program at Ohio State worked with men who showed signs associated with sexual offenders. Once identified, they work in focus groups to dismantle the ways in which they behave and how they have been socialized to do so. The hope is to prevent these college men from going out and engaging in violent behavior that could be prevented.

What I am trying to do is to expand the pedagogy of possibilities in how we discuss issues happening on campus and what is being done to change the environment that systemically continues to sustain it. I believe this involves the incorporation of lived narratives. In the future, I hope presenters invite more college students who have been, and are currently being affected, and to sponsor them to attend conferences such as this one. An investment in our student is an investment in our current environment, as well as our future.

From the keynote to the MED talks that were given, the energy I felt in the room was the tenacity of real people sharing what they have overcome. Prof. Strayhorn said that we have to “speak true in the presence of power” and that “we have to name things, so that we can deal with it.”

This is what I will walk away to work against actions of quiet desperation, and to encourage an environment of collective dialogue.