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Transitioning to a New City

New Professionals and Graduate Students
November 5, 2015 Amanda Mintz

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” – Maya Angelou


For many of us, the end of a fall semester can bring some sort of change or transition into our lives. Some of you may be navigating the transition from undergraduate to graduate or returning from life as a professional to life as a student. Many of you may be entering or changing out of your first professional role, living in a different city and managing the overwhelming reality of unknown responsibilities and surroundings. In his book The Way of Transition, William Bridges describes transition as “the process of letting go of the way things used to be and then taking hold of the way they subsequently become.” When we are stuck in that middle ground, having let go of a previous season of life but still feeling lost in a new one, our lives can feel overwhelming and at times, disappointing. While transition is simply a part of life, it is never simple.


As the fall semester comes to a close, I find myself reflecting on where I was a year ago, picking up my life, leaving friends and family behind, and moving across the country to pursue a new adventure in the Higher Education program at Florida State University. Throughout my first semester, excitement, eagerness, and anticipation were often met with equally strong feelings of uncertainty, loneliness, regret, and fear. My first year of graduate school was difficult beyond belief, but at the same time, the moments that challenged and terrified me were the same moments that inspired growth and positive change within me. I am choosing to share these thoughts with you, my NPGS friends, because I care for your well-being and your success in this profession, which I believe begins with your successful transition into the new season of life you might be entering. If you are struggling with a recent transition, I encourage you to remind yourself of the following five things.


Remind yourself to ask for help.


Entering or leaving a new job can be an intimidating time, filled with pressure to appear positive, capable, and collected. However, your supervisors, colleagues, peers, and other professionals at the institution are here to support you during this time. Many of them understand the very theories that surround transition and are prepared to give you the help you need. New friends within the program also served as support systems. Remember, many of the people around you are transitioning, too, and many of them may have the same fears and apprehensions that you do. When you take a leap of faith and reach out for help, you empower others to do the same, creating a community of support that you will benefit from in future times of difficulty.


Remind yourself that comfort does not come overnight.


At a certain point, you might look around and it will appear that the people around you, whether that is cohort-mates, other new professionals, or friends in your city, have quickly settled into their new roles. Yet, you find yourself still struggling to make sense of things. That’s okay. I want to remind you that the process of making a new place your home looks different for all people, and comfort will come more quickly for some than for others. Allow yourself to be patient in the process of making your new city feel like home. Your journey is yours and yours alone – it will never look exactly like someone else’s.


Remind yourself to love where you live.


While comfort does not come overnight, there are steps you can take to make an unfamiliar city feel like a place you have lived forever. When I moved to Tallahassee, FL one year ago, I saw this season of my life as temporary. I thought that two years would not be long enough to lay down roots and that I would soon be moving on. I was so wrong about that. No matter how long you plan on staying in this stage of life, learning to love the place you live is incredibly important for a successful transition. Explore local restaurants, find an organization to be involved in, or seek community through your service interests, religion, or hobbies. While two years may seem short, it is quite a long time to feel disconnected.

Loving where you live also includes investing in the new people in your life. When you feel alone in a new city, it is easy to spend your spare time relying on familiar relationships and friendships for comfort, rather than stepping out of your comfort zone and meeting new people. Spend time exploring with your cohort, or grab coffee with a mutual connection that lives nearby. While maintaining supportive connections is crucial to success in transition, the new people you meet are also worth your energy and just might help you feel truly connected to your new city.


Remind yourself to maintain connections.


On the other hand, maintaining the schedule of a graduate student or new professional is not an easy task. Between class, assistantships or jobs, internships, outside commitments, and learning to love your city, it can be nearly impossible to maintain the relationships that are important to you. However, the people who know you the best will be your biggest support systems through this transition. While busyness is a real challenge, remind yourself that your schedule is not as important as your well-being, which very well may include making time to keep up with family, friends, and mentors from previous jobs and institutions.


Remind yourself that you are brave.


You must constantly remind yourself that you are courageous! Loneliness and fear can so easily be accompanied by feelings of weakness – I know, because I often felt these same feelings. It takes strength and self-confidence to leave the comfortable for the unknown. Commend yourself daily. Your own resiliency will be your most powerful tool in overcoming the challenges of transition.


I love Maya Angelou’s thought on the process of becoming a butterfly. She says, “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” In other words, how often do we talk about a butterfly’s beauty while forgetting or neglecting to reflect on how it came to be? What was the process that it went through to reach that state? Was it challenging or painful or difficult? This quote serves as a reminder that - though the transitions we find ourselves in may be scary, though we may feel lost and fearful, and though we may doubt the decisions we have made that led us to this point – beauty and purpose will eventually come through. While we cannot always control our circumstances, it is in our power to control how we respond to them. I encourage you to embrace your transition with grace and positivity. Seek the support you need to be successful. Remember that you are not alone in your transition. Rely upon your own resiliency and strength to overcome the challenges you face. And above all, keep your head up and your eyes looking forward; while times might seem difficult in this moment, beauty is right around the corner.

Amanda Mintz is a second year graduate student in the Higher Education and Student Affairs program at Florida State University where she works as a Graduate Assistant in the Student Activities Center. She is originally from the great state of Texas where she graduated from Baylor University in 2014 with a degree in Linguistics. As someone who made a significant transition herself when moving east for graduate school, Amanda aims to help other graduate students navigate the difficult challenge of creating a new home in a new city.