A Letter to my Colleagues

A Letter To My Colleagues

Dear Colleagues,

Something racist happened to me post-election. I could tell you the story of what happened to me in detail. The racism and xenophobia I felt. How I took it as a Queer Latinx person in a transracial family that includes a Russian Jewish father and Irish Catholic mother. However, no matter how many details I tell you, you may not know how to react, you may not care or you may be lost in your own disbelief. “How could this happen to you?” As an ally you wanted to make a plan so this would not happen again. You wanted instant action, ‘We should make a call right now and complain or write a letter!’ At some point I may have gotten snappy and asked you to drop it. We may have even had a moment where we fought because we both hurt. You were angry for me but... what I couldn’t say is that I needed space to be angry, sad and not carry other’s emotions. I need the space to be myself first without considering how that might make you feel. For me and perhaps other transracial adoptees we spend a lot of time convincing ourselves that we are, ‘Enough’ in every sense of the word.

I hope you pay attention to the 2^nd to last sentence in the last paragraph. As a Latinx Queer Woman of Color I am resilient and strong because I do not have a choice. As a transracial adoptee I have the ability to see and hear many cultures, hear various perspectives and know even if I try my hardest I will never know what it is like to be you. I know that if you trust me then over time you will show me an authentic view of who you are and share parts of a culture you value and love. As a transracial adoptee I know living in a multicultural world is quite possible. It takes patience and courage to look inside our self to the point we are free enough to see others. I’m talking about the need to start actually talking about race in student affairs.

Post-election I am tired and so many of my brothers and sisters are too. We might be scared or nervous to see what happens next in this country. We might be frightened to see what types of laws and policies will be attacking our freedom. I am asking my colleagues to be flexible. I am asking my colleagues to think outside their lens. If you are a man, think about women, women think about women of color, women of color think about your Lesbian and Gay siblings, Lesbian and Gay siblings think about your Trans siblings and Trans think about your Trans People of Color siblings etc. (know there are so many types of people to consider beyond the identities I mentioned!)  As a transracial adoptee I will admit, I trained myself to learn about people who were not like me because I never met people who looked like me or were brought up like me while growing up. However, I am now thankful for this ability to challenge myself and others to think beyond their own perspectives.  

Here are tips in student affairs to look beyond yourself:

1.      Do the Self-Work.

It is not easy to admit you don’t actually know how to talk about race. I remember the first time my sister (who is white) asked me about my perspective on a subject about race and I finally blurted out, “I can’t be your teacher in this moment.” She paused and quickly said, “Yeah…you’re right, that’s unfair.” That’s the moment I knew she saw me. I ask my colleagues to stop asking marginalized voices to teach you. There are so many text books, self-reflection activities, blogs that offer perspectives by people who want to teach you. You can start with, Teaching for Diversity and Social Justice by Adam, Bell and Griffin. It has terminology mixed with stories mixed with activities to self-reflect and teach others.

2.      Allow for Anger

Never confuse someone advocating for themselves and others as anger.  In this field we seem to have this spotlight on staying positive. So let me keep it real. Yes, we do need to stay positive. However, I cannot focus on being a positive person if I am being oppressed. Allow me to be angry about the racism and microaggressions I feel every day in this field. Allow me to be a human who has feelings that were hurt. Know that if I come to you as an ally, I am hoping you will not hold this vulnerable moment against me, professionally. People of color are often made to be seen as bullies or defiant when they speak up in student affairs. We need to acknowledge, address this and allow space for all types of leaders to thrive in this field. Please also know it is a privilege for you to learn from my genuine feelings of anger or hurt.

3.      Make Space

As depicted in my narrative above. An ally can sometimes want to make quick fixes. There is no quick fix in racism. I cannot be fixed, I am not broken. I need you to listen to me, validate me and make space for me. One place I recommend for folks to try out are the knowledge communities in NASPA. I have found the personal and professional space to be an authentic leader. I have created a network of people who have similar identities, but I have also met allies who offer support to these communities. True allies lift up marginalized voices before raising their own. 

4.      Reflect Often

A mentor of mine, Delight Champagne who led my student personnel administration program at Springfield College taught me something very interesting about how to handle crisis intervention at colleges. I was on call one night and have a horrendous incident. She listened, she let me complain about how tired I was and then she said, “but what did you learn”. I stared at her. She taught me in that moment that even when we have a hard conversation, a hard moment in student affairs we must ask ourselves what did we learn. More importantly, we must ask ourselves: “If this happened again, what would I do differently?”  When you think about having hard conversations in student affairs that have to do with race, class, gender, sexuality, socioeconomic status, ability, ethnicity, religion etc. never assume you gave the perfect response. Assume your answer was incomplete. Most likely because it was. Reflect and in the future when you hold similar conversations, build your conversations up and go deeper each time.

5.      I am not the PC Police

There will always be one person reading this who will think, “Why do we have to be so PC/Sensitive?” Student affairs is supposed to be hard, but it is not supposed to hurt people. If you cannot work with your colleagues how do I know you can work with students of marginalized identities. If you sincerely do not care about reaching out to diverse audiences, know this field may not be the most appropriate one for you. Education was not meant for people of color and I know that, but I also know it is time for the education system to change and that can begin with us.

6.      Apologize

This is the hardest lesson to learn. In social justice work we have to often correct ourselves, say we are sorry and move on. We don’t get to hurt one another and then deny the pain we caused one another. That is not how we grow. The leaders, mentors, professors and role models in my life are the folks who said, “I was wrong, and I am going to correct this.” If we cannot help people at the very least we should not further hurt them. An apology goes a long way.

 Lastly, have patience with yourself and know that being socially just is admitting you may not have all the answers. I am not an expert. You are not an expert. We are both trying to learn. Being a transracial adoptee I learned quickly that most people try to, ‘fake it until they make it’ with diversity. I think we are better than this. I think we can be more intentional than this. If this election has taught us anything it is that we all have a lot of work to do. It reminded me that I cannot change people, but that I can offer a perspective and challenge folks to think outside their comfortable point of view. I am not the first to make this type of statement and please know I cannot be the last person to make this type of statement. Thank you, to those who came before me.

With Hope,

Julia R. Golden-Battle

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Julia Golden-Battle works at Salem State University as the Assistant Director & LGBTQ Liaison within the Office of Diveristy and Multicultural Affairs.