Be Like "Q" - Asian-Pacific Islander KC Spotlight

Greetings from the Region IV West Asian-Pacific Islander Knowledge Community (APIKC). As most of you know, the Asian Pacific Islander Knowledge Community seeks to educate and inform NASPA members about the current issues, trends, and research facing Asian Pacific Islanders in higher education. We actively nurture and support the professional development of students and professionals through a variety of programs and by providing leadership and involvement opportunities within the KC.

This article is both a personal review about a recent Asian-Pacific Islander presenter that came to our university in Fargo, ND as well as my own personal reflections on what it was like for me growing up as an Asian-Pacific Islander.  I encourage the reader to reflect on my story and that of the presenter to see if there are any similarities to your own story and to the thousands of stories of the college student we serve. 

As you might garner from my introduction, I wanted to delve a little deeper into the personal side of what it was like for me to be an Asian-Pacific Islander growing up. Though I might stray from the original intent of the articles typically posted here, I hope the reader might indulge me. Now I don’t pretend to know what it’s like to be all Asian-Pacific Islanders.  I certainly concede that my story is my own and nobody else’s. This is just one story.  I tell my story in hopes of connecting with more people and to continue to spread the ideas of love, respect, and acceptance.   The one unique difference of my story is though I am Japanese, Hawaiian, American-Indian, Tahitian, and a tad-bit French-Canadian, I look completely Caucasian.  Born and raised in Hawaii, I danced the hula, spoke Japanese, ate Hawaiian food and studied Korean martial arts.  Growing up as an Asian-American and looking Caucasian was like having an out-of-body experience for 18 years.  Crazy, huh? But, more on this later.

It was exactly 12:02pm on April 22, 2016 when the featured speaker for API month at North Dakota State University, Qurrat Ann Kadwani, took the stage to perform her solo play, “They call me Q”.  I was excited to see “Q” as I heard she was the first South Asian female to have a solo play off-Broadway in New York City.  She had won best actress, best play, and many other awards for her work. “They Call Me Q” is an amazing two-hour play about the life of a young girl growing up in the Bronx seeking to find herself in a world where differences were more feared than revered.   Transforming her character 13 times throughout the play, “Q” morphed into her parents, her Caucasian teachers, Puerto Rican classmates, and a few of her multi-racial peers. 

Ten minutes into the play, I was already impressed with “Q’s” ability to take on so many different characters each with their own accents, mannerisms, and beliefs.  The play was designed to help the audience understand and see “Q” from the perspectives of people who were different from her and who saw “Q” as being different from them.  As a young girl, it was difficult for “Q” to understand these differences and ultimately fell pray to questioning her own identity.

As the play progressed, I began fading in and out of my own story of being a young Asian-Pacific Islander as I watched “Q” re-live her life and the amazing moments that shaped who she is today.  Some of these moments were filled with humorous stories of her parents trying to reshape her rebellious behavior that attempted to deny her ethnic identity to fit-in with the popular crowd.  Other moments shared her heartbreak of being ostracized by others who saw her as an outsider. 

I didn’t want to admit it, but “Q” was replaying the story of my life and of course the story of many people’s lives.  I nervously identified with how “Q” began questioning and ultimately denying her own identity to fit in as I kept repositioning myself in the theater chair.  I felt the old uneasy feelings of remorse and guilt as I recalled the many times I tried to lose my Hawaiian accent, deny my love of hula, and simply tried to act like all of the other Caucasians surrounding me in all of my high school classrooms.  As a teenager, I was hoping that someone, anyone, would come along and tell me “its okay to be who you are”. Though I never heard those words until I was a young adult, I often wondered if the denial and questioning of my identity all those years had torn tiny scars in my confidence and self-worth. 

As “Q” began to close her solo masterpiece, she told the audience of how important it was to have her parents and mentors remind her of how differences bring the world to know many forms of greatness and it was up to her to carry this message to as many people as possible.  Thankfully, “Q” reminded me of the many mentors and friends I had come to know over the years who guided me back into knowing my own true greatness and that I too needed to help others realize the same.  As I self-proclaim, as a relatively successful Asian-American educator, I am thankful for the mentors in my life who helped me accept myself as well as learn to accept others.  We are all called to our own greatness and to help others do the same. In other words,

Be like, “Q”.

A special thanks to Qurrat Ann Kadwani for helping me to remember the privileges and responsibilities I have in the work I do! Though I’m not an agent nor am I being paid by “Q” to say this, if you are interested in finding out more about her and her play, email her directly at [email protected] or see her on facebook!  Mahalo!

Steve Winfrey is the Knowledge Community Representitive for the Asian-Pacific Islander Knowledge Community (APIKC).  For more information about this KC please contact Steve at [email protected].