Wear Some Purple With Your Pink

Each October, the nation comes together to raise awareness for breast cancer. A disease that affects one in eight women in their lifetime (Understanding Breast Cancer, 2016). Companies create pink items to sell to assist in the research for a cure; walks and races are completed by survivors (both primary and secondary) and supporters alike; and the National Football League allows players and teams to stray from their traditionally masculine color schemes in order to don uniforms and accessories in the now infamous Susan G. Komen pink. Thanks to the efforts of companies, organizations, and individuals around the country, there was a “37% decline in [breast cancer related] mortality from 1990 to 2013 (Why Komen?, n.d.). “

In addition to Breast Cancer Awareness Month, October is a time to honor and support victims and survivors of domestic violence. Each year, more than 10 million people are physically abused by an intimate partner (NCADV, 2015). This is especially important on college and university campuses, as domestic violence is most common among women ages 18-24 (NCADV, 2015). However, when domestic violence presents in women in this age group, particularly college women, the signs are often overlooked.

These signs, or red flags, are largely overlooked due to the fact that when domestic violence is discussed, many people will conjure a mental image of a married couple – one in which the man is physically violent and aggressive towards the woman. This idea is so prevalent in our society that many victims who do not fit this narrative are often not believed or do not understand that what has occurred in their relationship is violent or unhealthy. Victims including those in the LGBTQIAP+ community, students of color, and students from middle or upper socioeconomic classes are often overlooked.

A second reason this narrative is harmful is because we have emphasized the importance of physical abuse for a relationship to be considered violent. While physical violence certainly exists among young couples, the American College Health Association found in its most recent National College Health Assessment that 8.4% (n=8,043) of college students experienced an emotionally abusive intimate relationship (compared to 1.9% [n=1,820] reporting physically abusive intimate relationships) (American College Health Association, 2016). Emotional abuse is so prevalent and so ignored because as a society we tell little girls that when the boy is mean to her on the playground it’s because he likes her. Girls are quite literally taught to accept abuse as love, as boys are being taught that love is abuse.

While I could talk about the rape culture that we live in, and the patriarchal society that has allowed these unhealthy behaviors to become a norm until I run out of breath, that is not my goal for this post. I want to use this post to encourage my fellow student affairs professionals to wear some purple with your pink during the remaining days of this October (purple being the awareness color for domestic violence).

In my time working in student affairs, I have always been a strong advocate for the importance of speaking to the issues around interpersonal violence on our campuses. During my first semester of graduate school I took a course about college student subcultures, and each week I found a way to write a paper that discussed the intersection of interpersonal violence with the subculture we were studying. I say this to emphasize that in my time in this field so far, I have more often than not been met with an attitude of “that’s not my area” or “let’s leave that to the experts.”

I can appreciate wanting to connect victims and survivors of domestic violence (and really any interpersonal violence) to an advocate, counselor, or Title IX investigator. However, the work to end interpersonal violence on our campuses has to extend beyond the women’s centers and violence prevention offices. It may be easy to think that academic advising, or career services are not places that victims and survivors seek help, however, that mindset is a detriment to our students.

Students who are victims and survivors of domestic violence (and again, any interpersonal violence) are going to go to the person who they are most comfortable with when they are ready to ask for help. This may be a resident assistant, academic advisor, or [insert your title here]. It is vitally important that we remember as student affairs professionals that the reality of domestic and dating violence on our campuses is often not the narrative we have been fed throughout our lives.

It is equally important that we show the survivors and victims on our campuses that we believe them and we stand together with them to end interpersonal violence. As there are four days left in October, here are four things we can do to make sure that our students feel supported:

1. Be more than a checkbox: You follow your Title IX procedures when necessary; you mandate fraternities and sororities complete bystander intervention training; but what else are you doing? Can your office support a local domestic violence shelter during its next community service outing? Does your women’s center or violence prevention office need help collecting toiletries for a drive? What can you do to be more than a check box?
2. Do some reading: The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence is a great online resource. #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou was trending on Twitter earlier this year, for those who prefer social media campaigns. Either way, increase your knowledge on the issues surrounding interpersonal violence.
3. Pay extra attention to survivors that are outside of the narrative: As previously stated our narrative for domestic violence is often a cisgender-heterosexual couple in a low socioeconomic class with the male as the aggressor and the female as the victim. Domestic and dating violence can affect any person -- regardless of race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, socioeconomic class, etc. Over the course of this month I hosted a variety of events to raise awareness and offer education toward dating violence and the one common statement I heard during each event was “I didn’t know I could be a victim because no one ever talks about it in queer relationships.” Make an effort to include all students in your conversations, not just those that fit the narrative.
4. Wear Some Purple with your Pink: Purple is the color for Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Find a purple ribbon and wear it for these last few days. Add a purple ribbon to your Facebook or Twitter profile picture. Be unafraid to have conversations with folks when they ask what the ribbon is for. This is awkward at first, (trust me, I have a sexual assault awareness ribbon tattooed on my forearm - it’s brought about many interesting moments) but the more we do this the easier it will become to talk about domestic violence and more and more survivors will be believed when they come forward to ask for help.

Finally, I would be remiss if I didn’t take a moment to honor that many of you reading this post have been directly affected by domestic and dating violence. Please do not forget that you, just as much as our students, are valid and important and that I believe in you. Take some time for self care as this month comes to a close. And remember that it’s okay to ask for help.

Mandy Parente is a Certified Health Education Specialist and the Interpersonal Violence Prevention Coordinator at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. Mandy is a graduate of the University of Louisville in Louisville, KY where she received a Master of Education in Community Health, as well as the University of West Florida in Pensacola, FL, where she completed a Bachelor of Arts in Criminal Justice. Mandy is a sexual violence advocate, headstrong feminist, and lover of life and ice cream. To follow her on Twitter: @mandyp6453

References:

American College Health Association. American College Health Association-National College Health Assessment II: Reference Group Executive Summary Spring 2016. Hanover, MD: American College Health Association; 2016.

U.S. Breast Cancer Statistics | Breastcancer.org. (2016, September 30). Retrieved from http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/understand_bc/statistics

NCADV. (2015). Domestic violence national statistics. Retrieved from www.ncadv.org

Why Komen? (n.d.). Retrieved from http://ww5.komen.org/WhatWeDo.html?utm_source=infographic&utm_medium=homepage&utm_content= LearnMoreButton&utm_campaign=FY2015Q1