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Google Cannot Help You Find Happiness

Womxn in Student Affairs
February 2, 2016 Sarah Shields
GOOGLE CANNOT HELP YOU FIND HAPPINESS
 CREATING YOUR OWN PLAN TO FINALLY HAVE WHAT WE'RE ALL TRYING TO FIND
"Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions." -Dalai Lama

There is a lot of speculation surrounding happiness and how one can achieve it. Does it come from money? Is it found solely in a good job, a spouse, a nice vacation? Does it come from surrounding yourself with happy people (the idea being that their happiness will somehow rub off on you)? Perhaps it is all of these things, and for some, maybe not any of them. It is apparent, however, that it is something we all yearn for- a simple Google search tells us that people today are looking for the quick solution, the Buzzfeed article that will explain how to get it in 32 steps. Unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all guidebook that will lead you to happiness.

As cliché as it sounds, you have to find it for yourself. Because, just like people argue over who was cuter between Zach & Slater (duh...Zach), everyone has their own idea of what happiness means for them. And creating your own happiness plan actually serves two purposes- you'll have motivation for the next time you want to mope around in your sweatpants and eat an entire Ben & Jerry's pint (unless that's part of your happiness plan, and then hey- I say go for it!), and you can also stop comparing yourself with others. If you know what makes you happy, then who needs to stalk Facebook at 2 am making a mental note of everything your ex-boyfriend has accomplished in the last three years?!

To come up with your own "Handbook" for happiness, just think of the Three P's- Planning, different Perspectives, and a Positive attitude:

Come Up With a Plan

Looking ahead and keeping yourself accountable are key for lowering stress levels and leading to a healthier, happier you. It's simple: if you want to be happy, you need to make it a priority. Make goals that are attainable- whether it's deciding to get outside and run every day, read a new book about a topic you've always wanted to learn, or learn to crochet, write these down and make a plan to reach them. The satisfaction of reaching the goals you've set for yourself- no matter how small- leads to an incredible sense of achievement, and it sometimes even makes you want to set a new goal, prolonging the good feelings!

Look at the World a Little Differently

There's a great saying that goes, "I used to complain that I had no shoes until I saw a man that had no feet". No matter how bad things are at the moment, there's a good chance they could be worse. So, appreciate what you have right now. Not what you should have or will have in a few years. Quit looking in the mirror and thinking about that great body you'll have if you can just get to the gym a few times! Stop staring at the people on a date next to you and wishing your relationship could just be like theirs. Realize that the things you have and the people around you are part of your story, and that is awesome enough. If you can learn to see things as good enough for right now, you'll stop wishing away the present and actually enjoy life and everything that comes with it.

Make a Little Lemonade

Having a "glass half full" kind of attitude can go a long way in ensuring that whatever happiness you find stays put. Being optimistic generally means one expects the best possible outcome from any given situation. If you can look at a fork in the road as just another opportunity to explore, or react to a setback with the mantra, "this too shall pass", you'll be able to bounce back to your happy place with your emotions intact. This attitude, of course, comes with plenty of practice. Writing down positive affirmations about yourself, your work, or things that happen during the day can boost your mood in just a few minutes. Put them somewhere you'll see them (I keep a list on my bathroom mirror) and soon you won't have to write them down, they'll just float into your mind like little smiles throughout the day! Over time, practicing positivity will start to become second nature, and you'll find a new resiliency within yourself that you might not have known you had. 

Sarah Shields is currently a Residence Hall Assistant Director at New York University, in New York City. She enjoys writing, traveling, and being a tourist in her own city. She would love to connect with you on social media @sarahshieldsy and at seshields.com!